.:. Horror Script Completed .:. download if you da

[Mods]

Okay, here's the finished product. I don't think it's something I will be able to film. It's not as long as Static Fear, but it gives you an idea of my work... If you want me to write a script for you I'd be more than happy too.

I write shorts and feature length films.
http://screen7.adventuredeveloper.com/Cancelled.doc


Mods

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Mark "Mods" Lovegrove
Anarchy Pictures

[Mods]

I guess I should have spent more than 6 hours writing it. Hehe, thanks anyway I'll take your points into consideration and maybe re-write it at some stage, like i often do.


Mods

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Mark "Mods" Lovegrove
Anarchy Pictures

[redlum]

I thought the first 7 pages or so were good but then it kind of went in this annoying action movie direction. Jumping to one obstacle to the next. Its a good idea but I think just slow it down (particularly if it is to be viable for a short/LB movie).
If I were to do this I would forget all that action, bar a few simple incidents and focus on the characters. Make the events very simple and intoduce the Ghost (sorry I think thats where the whole "I thought you were dead" was going), gradually as a normal passenger. Maybe just have them as normal people sitting around the leads during the journey, then after the pass through the tunnel to Lipdale station and the carriage is lit up again - all the other passengers could have dissapeared? Sorry if I didn't get the jist of the story but the premise could be really good, I just didn't like the action - it reminded me of Speed and Jurassic park 3 - "WHAT ELSE COULD GO WRONG?" and cue another dinosaur.

Regards

Redlum



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[FutureFilmMan]

I've read the first few pages, but it looks pretty good, good job!

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